Humor « 26 Characters

Below you will find my weblog, or just blog. The name may not strike you right away, but you'll get it after I ask you one question: How many letters are there in the alphabet?

I use these twenty−six letters to share moments I experience, thoughts I come upon or ideas I have that I don't feel like keeping to myself. Writing them gives me the ability to share with you.

Maybe you'll laugh, maybe you'll swallow hard, maybe you will learn something about me that you didn't previous know, or maybe you'll relate the words below to something in your own experiences. You may even know the subjects I allude to between the paragraph tags.

So much that I will often write without proofing. If I offend you, it is nothing personal, simply my opinion. I'll complain about things that bother me, things I find offensive and just random thoughts I hold onto long enought to transfer to my blog.

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Grossly Strong

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Earth’s strongest creature meets its mate in a pile of shit. Talk about a turnoff.

It is estimated that the appropriately named dung beetle, or Onthophagus taurus, can pull 1,141 times its own weight. Mind boggling.

Why would anything need to pull that many times its own weight?

Female dung beetles will burrow into a pile of excrement and wait for a horny male looking to mate, (see photo). The male will then crawl down her poop canal in order to proposition her.

What if another male is encountered on the way down the shit shaft?

The outermost dung beetle will try and pull his competition from the brown tunnel of love. Gross. Hence the term “start some shit.”₁

Smell ya later.

^{1 Not actually how that term was derived.}

Tags: animal, creature, dung beetle, insect, world's strongest
Posted in FYI, Humor | 869No Comments »Grossly+Strong2010-09-02+20%3A24%3A08Ross+Clurman

Some Fun Shirts

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

Clothes can be a great way to express yourself … how you’re feeling, the team you support, your religious or political affiliation – these are just a few of the ways clothing can define the wearer, or express his/her opinion.

If you’re looking for some new threads, check out some fun t-shirts from Threadless.

Tags: t-shirts, threadless
Posted in Humor | 875No Comments »Some+Fun+Shirts2010-08-25+18%3A17%3A05Ross+Clurman

Divorce Insurance

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

In Bigger and Blacker, Chris Rock notes that the only thing worse than getting taxed is paying for insurance. He continues, saying:

“They shouldn’t even call it insurance. They just should call it ‘in case shit.’

l give a company some money…in case shit happens.

Now, if shit don’t happen, shouldn’t l get my money back?”

In the case of marriage, 50% of the time it fails, every time.

While I’m fairly certain¹ no pre-nup is airtight, you can invest in something called Divorce Insurance to protect your assets in the event that shit happens.

What is Divorce Insurance?
Basically, it covers the cost of your divorce. From what I understand, this would include money related to attorney fees, court costs, etc. – it does not protect your “half”.

Should you get Divorce Insurance?
Only if you plan to get married; otherwise, no.

Even if you’re already married, you can calculate the probability of divorce.

However, I strongly recommend you clear your browsing history…and never miss another anniversary/birthday/milestone, quit staring at the opposite sex, stop flirting with the server, etc., etc., etc.

Learn more about Divorce Insurance.

¹ ‘fairly certain’ is not a factual claim, nor should it be interpreted as such

Tags: Bigger and Blacker, Chris Rock, Divorce Insurance, Divorce Probability Calculator
Posted in FYI, Humor | 825No Comments »Divorce+Insurance2010-08-17+22%3A47%3A40Ross+Clurman

Baby Street Fighter

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Super-awesome Nintendo game + invisible ball of fire =

Round 1 .... FIGHT!

Tags: baby, Hadouken!, nintendo game, street fighter
Posted in Humor | 815No Comments »Baby+Street+Fighter2010-07-31+21%3A11%3A45Ross+Clurman

Egg Handling Fee

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

Last year, Ally came out swinging with a series of ads depicting children in one of several different situations that mock a real-life scenario you might find yourself in with “other” banks.

They test the patience and understanding of children, who are not familiar with how banks work, and they do it in a way that suggests the children are part of a focus group, or study on human behavior.

The moderator portrays “other” banks and responds to the children’s inquiries with simple (yet, flawed) banking logic. The close-in cuts of the children’s faces, (which are all classic), are followed with Ally’s response – a solution to the common bank.

Part of me feels bad for the kids. The other parts of me feels bad for me, because I can relate…as I’m sure many of you can, too.

Ice Cream:

Truck:

Pony:

Automated:

Bike:

Hide-and-Seek:

Eggs:

In addition to putting their ads online, they compiled a short reel of behind-the-scenes footage of the children that participated in the making of these ads.

Tags: advertising, Ally Bank, Humor, TV commercials
Posted in Ads, Humor | 718No Comments »Egg+Handling+Fee2010-07-14+13%3A51%3A59Ross+Clurman

Chinwag

Monday, July 12th, 2010

You may recognize the main character of these TV spots for 2 Degrees Mobile as Murray, the not-so-smart agent in HBO’s Flight of the Conchords. Or, you may know him as Rhys Darby – a stand-up comedian from New Zealand.

Either way, your sense of humor will recognize these commercials as funny.

I saw my first a couple months ago and it sparked my curiosity, so I took to the Internet and found more…

Chinwag

Stay

Cambridge

SIM

Cheaper

Dream

Tags: 2 Degrees Mobile, Flight of the Conchords, HBO, New Zealand, Rhys Darby
Posted in Ads, Humor | 705No Comments »Chinwag2010-07-12+18%3A53%3A55Ross+Clurman

Meanwhile, Back in Austin…

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

Just like Vegas, what happens on The [gmail] Chain, stays on The Chain. However, when something this funny happens, I feel it is my civic duty to share.

In the email thread below, I’m Rascal. It’s pretty obvious who the other individuals are…

(click the image to see a full-size version)

Here’s a closer look at the image that got me to LOL this morning…

Batman references. Classic.

Tags: batman, chain email, gmail, ice
Posted in Humor | 692No Comments »Meanwhile%2C+Back+in+Austin...2010-07-02+16%3A56%3A05Ross+Clurman

High Five Etiquette

Friday, April 30th, 2010

This quick clip highlights the key factors in creating a successful high-five. Everything is covered from pressure and timing to location.

When it comes to timing: “You’ll know you’re in the five zone, when your partner is roughly in the distance you can throw a microwave.” That’s right.

Watch it and enjoy.

Tags: high five, out-of-the-office etiquette
Posted in Humor | 589No Comments »High+Five+Etiquette2010-04-30+19%3A27%3A02Ross+Clurman

Fresh Ads for Old Spice

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

Procter & Gamble’s new Old Spice ads are awesome. I had to dig deep for a word to describe how I really feel about them, and “awesome” is the best I can come up with. So, deal with it.

No only have each of their ads averaged well over a million views (YouTube), they feature actors like Terry Crews (Training Day, Friday After Next) and poke fun at manly clichés like explosions, flexing and destruction.

BUILDING KICK!

Here are a few spots from their current ad campaign for Old Spice’s Odor Blocker Body Wash.

Tags: body wash, old spice, procter & gamble, tv ads
Posted in Humor | 574No Comments »Fresh+Ads+for+Old+Spice2010-04-29+15%3A56%3A13Ross+Clurman

Glee: Vogue

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

I may have to start watching this show…

Awesomely funny.

Tags: glee, tv show, vogue
Posted in Humor | 525No Comments »Glee%3A+Vogue2010-04-15+00%3A00%3A37Ross+Clurman

26 Characters