I received a text message on Valentine’s Day as I was making my way to Houston for the weekend, and initially thought it was from a girl I went to high school with. I humored her and continued the conversation…turns out it wasn’t the Sarah/Kaitlin I knew.
It was funny enough for me to save it, (and eventually share it), and I felt it appropriate to title this text message exchange by quoting Sarah.
In the transcript below, please note the spelling and grammatical errors indicating that this girl had around a fourth-grade reading level. (No offense to the real Kaitlin, if she’s reading this.) I only point it out because those were the cues that started to indicate that I did not know who this was.
(In a low, raspy voice) The following takes place between ten a.m. and eleven a.m.
—
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Hola this is SKITTLES:) (on kaitlins phone)
Me (2/14):
Skittles?
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Sarah ****** (duh)
Me (2/14):
Oh, of course…how could I forget? What’s up?
(I was completely kidding…I didn’t remember the name, but it sounded familiar.)
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Nothing how bout you
Me (2/14):
On my way to houston
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Texas?
Me (2/14):
si
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Why
Me (2/14):
Visiting friends
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Cool
Me (2/14):
Tell Kaitlin hi
Me (2/14):
(please)
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Kaitlin says hi too
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Wat?
Me (2/14):
I was saying (please) tell kaitlin hi… ;o)
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Ok I did
Me (2/14):
You’re not doing anything for v-day?
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Nope just recovering from skating with kaitlin last night:-D
Me (2/14):
Ice skating?
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
No inline
Me (2/14):
Haha. nice
(This did not sound far off from something the Kaitlin I know would do.)
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Totally
Me (2/14):
So, did my name just pop into your head?
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Sorta we were texting people to say happy v day and then nobody texted back expect you
Me (2/14):
Bc i’m polite.
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Wat is bc???
Me (2/14):
because
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Gotcha
Me (2/14):
You still haven’t said it…
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
What was I suppposed to say
Me (2/14):
Happy Valentine’s Day
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Ok then Happy Valentines Day8-)
Me (2/14):
ditto
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Ok are you flying or driving to houston
Me (2/14):
driving
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Were are you right know (state)
Me (2/14):
tx
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Cool
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
R you bored
Me (2/14):
So-so. It’s not that long of a drive
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
K who is all with you
Me (2/14):
Just me
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Then who is driving
Me (2/14):
My left hand and right foot.
(I’m slightly suspicious that this girl may think I’m someone else.)
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
What?? So ur driving
Me (2/14):
yep
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
But your like not they age what are u driving
Me (2/14):
Huh? My car
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Like are actually driving with the wheel and petals
Me (2/14):
Yep. Who do you think this is?
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Who is this
Me (2/14):
Ross
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Ross who
Me (2/14):
Clurman
(913) ###-#### (2/14):
Ummm then I think I have the wrong number unless caleb is around
Me (2/14):
Haha. No caleb here…and i’ve had this # for eight years…later Skittles.
—
This conversation lasted for about thirty minutes. Had it been a phone call, rather than text messages, I would have discovered the fact that Sarah and Kaitlin had no clue who I was (and vice versa) in a matter of seconds.
