Originally, I had it titled “Twenty Twitter Tweets About Today,” but realized that “about” didn’t need to function as a segue between “Twitter” and “Today”. Then, as I approached nine, I realized how difficult it would be to hit my ambitious original goal of twenty, especially since I don’t want things like: “Where are my socks”, or “Now merging.”

No, I figured it would be more entertaining for my readers, (and more fun for me to write), if I simply highlighted the pieces of my day that stood out.

“Woke up twelve minutes before my alarm was supposed to do that for me – thank you Austin Waste Removal.”

“Just made a half-dead lap around my apartment in search of the excuse for doing exactly that. Early birds don’t fly straight.”

“Reached for a light switch that is normally to the left of my sink, and now resides twelve hours north in my old [old] apartment.”

“Two towels to dry off because sometimes one just isn’t enough.”

“Who left the seat down?!”

“Only five emails on a Monday?! Call tech support, something is wrong with the network.”

“Sometimes the short-cut key to send emails can be a bad thing…especially if you don’t get the delay that spell-check sometimes provides.”

“Run-on sentence…run on.”

“DND”

“Grrr said the empty stomach as I reached for the [empty] box of Cheez-Its in my desk. Grrr, said I and put it back.”

“Is it obvious when I’m laughing at my computer screen that I’m not working?”

“I frogot hwo two spell in my e-males.”

“Please see below fro an updated prewf. THanks, Rss.”

“With two monitors, I thought I could run two programs at once…touché Windows XP. Touché.”

“Why didn’t my home-ec teacher “teach” us how to effectively microwave a lunch? I know most of my teachers had to…and, now I am.”

“It smells like fear in the men’s room.”

“Cough e break.”

And, a good day to you.