The three things I enjoy most about spending time with family in St. Louis this Christmas, (and the associated distance between six-three-six and my life in nine-one-three):

1. A significant decrease in entertainment-related expenditures
2. Seeing family members that I rarely see and spending more time with my little sis
3. Less distractions while I write (due to several things, like being sans a mode of transportation)

This afternoon, after being rushed home from shopping on a movie set, I made a sandwich. Before I get into my sandwich, which was delicious, let me explain why we were rushed home from the smallest strip mall I have ever visited.

My stepmother recently brought home a miniature version of Chocolat, (a black cat we already own). Little Miss Mandy is below…

You’ll notice the pink bell she is wearing courtesy of this afternoon’s phony breakout. We rushed home to find Mandy just hanging out under the hideabed.

Mandy has begun following Chocolat like his trainee.

Knowing she was safe, I decided to make a sandwich using the final three pieces of lunch meat in the fridge. My sister entered from the living room moments later to ask what she was going to make for lunch, now that I had finished the lunch meat.

The lack of food occupying my belly, the tension from the unnecessary panic over four pounds of black purr and my natural sarcasm pushed a somewhat vindictive response from my mouth.

“Make a wish.”

Damn! Dakota, the dog that weighs-in twelve pounds lighter than I do, just farted. And, you know I’m not lying – why would I blame the dog if you can’t even smell it?

Back on track. Stephanie wasn’t pleased with my response and was a little harsh towards me all afternoon. She finally warmed up tonight as the weather cooled off.

Perhaps it was because I was streaming National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation to my phone in order to make the thirty minute drive to see The Nutcracker bearable and she wanted to watch it with me.

The Nutcracker was reminiscent of the previous occasions where I witnessed this ballet of Clara’s dream. I got the Sugar Plum Fairy’s autograph. She was incredible.