What is colored beige, weighs twenty-seven.three pounds and unofficially has to die? Stay tuned…

Henry has digested:
- two chlorine toilet tablets
- a bottle of Nexium
- thirty-five tube socks
- numerous towels
- four ounces of body lotion (he loves that stuff)
- as of today, my ottoman

And, this is just the list of things we know he has ingested. The crazy thing is that none of them have caused his death – until now.

Is anyone interested in purchasing a purebred Puggle? He had a check-up slash grooming, yesterday, received a checkered bandanna and a “worm-free” certification. He is also completely healthy…with the exception of an under-bite, (you can tell if you look closely at the teeth marks in the ottoman) and he is afflicted with a severe case of doggy DS (Down Syndrome).

My roommate was kind enough to share this with myself and select friends in the Chain¹ this morning. He was also kind enough to take time to arrange such a nice little photo shoot, (Derek, you should apply to Glamour Shots).

The last living photograph of the late Henry.

All kidding aside, he should have dug his grave a little deeper.

¹A daily email among my friends with exclusive membership guidelines.