Really?! Did you just cut me off in a maroon minivan?
Sometimes while driving, I wish I had the power to sweep dumb drivers off the road. I know it sounds a little barbaric and without a visual, you may not be able to grasp what I’m talking about. Please refer to the technical sketch below for a visual.
If this were possible, I would have used said power to slap-shoot the icecube that passed me on I-435 yesterday on my way to work. Seriously, if you can’t see out of five of six windows on your vehicle due to a layer of ice, you should probably refrain from swerving in and out the lanes. You should be especially careful if I ever develop the power to (see above) your car.
I got cut off on my way to the red and white bullseye this morning to purchase a holiday giftcard for our janitor. I got cut off once in 1982 and it sounds like it was quite painful. Don’t remember much of it then, (thankfully), but I do remember vivid details about this morning’s incident.
A PSA to the individual driving the maroon bubble this morning:
Your Dodge Grand Caravan (or Monopoly™ piece) fitted with running boards, a spoiler and sunroof was not built for speed, it was built for comfort – drive it accordingly. You’re lucky I didn’t remember your license plate number, because I would have posted that ish.
This goes for any large-vehicle driver. I’m not pigeon-holding the Suburban driver, as my title may have led you to believe – I’m pigeon-holding the suburban driver. I understand that there isn’t a ton of traffic congestion in suburbia, but people please learn to drive.
I should maybe start my own blog to help myself vent about the drivers in this city as well. It seems as though even the though of ice or snow freaks Kansas City drivers out…End the MADNESS!